Manage Emotions Using Reframing
Dear Readers,
In last month’s newsletter, I shared a simple and effective tool for managing emotions when, for example, someone sends an aggressive email, challenges us publicly, or we’re faced with an unexpected delay, deadline, or cancellation. It’s called The SET Principle® — which stands for:
STOP. EMOTIONS DOWN. THINKING UP.
The SET Principle® helps you access the prefrontal cortex (PFC), the part of the brain responsible for creative thinking, reasoning, problem-solving, decision-making, and impulse control. As you might imagine, this comes in handy when you’re being interviewed, delivering a high-stakes presentation, or responding to an unexpected question.
This month, I’d like to introduce another powerful method for managing emotions: reframing.
Reframing is a conscious shift in how you interpret a situation in order to change how you feel and respond. It involves stepping back from an automatic reaction and asking:
What’s another way to look at this?
How would someone I deeply respect interpret this situation?
REFRAMING AT WORK
Because emotions often drive decisions—especially in fast-paced environments—reframing can help you:
De-escalate conflict
Stay composed under pressure
Improve problem-solving
Build resilience
A 2024 meta-analysis by Stover and colleagues found a strong association between cognitive reappraisal (reframing) and increased resilience.
“People buy on emotion but justify on logic.”
A REAL-LIFE EXAMPLE
To illustrate the process, here’s a recent experience from my own business.
About a month ago, I visited two department directors at a university in South Florida (without an appointment). My goal was to briefly introduce myself as a professional speaker who helps students manage their emotions through my program, The SET Principle® for College Students.
When I followed up later, one director never returned my call, and the other sounded flustered and didn’t have time to speak with me.
HOW TO PRACTICE REFRAMING
Here’s how I used reframing in that moment.
1. Name the emotion.
I felt hurt and frustrated, especially since both seemed very interested when we met in person.
2. Challenge your first interpretation.
What assumptions am I making?
I assumed they weren’t interested in my program.What evidence do I have?
None.
3. Generate alternative explanations
They may simply be busy.
They could be interested, but the timing may not be right.
4. Choose a constructive response
Send an email requesting an appointment instead of calling.
Mail a handwritten note expressing how much I enjoyed meeting them and that I look forward to connecting in the future.
After reframing the situation, I no longer felt angry and frustrated. Instead, I felt hopeful that there was still an opportunity to reconnect in the future.
FINAL THOUGHTS
We can’t always control what happens—but we can influence how we interpret it.
Reframing (also known as cognitive reappraisal) is one of the most effective emotional regulation strategies because it allows you to respond intentionally rather than react impulsively.
If you aspire to lead—or already do—this skill is especially valuable. Research by Mayer, Caruso, and Salovey highlights that leaders who regulate emotions effectively tend to foster healthier team climates and stronger performance outcomes.
The next time you find yourself emotionally triggered, pause and ask:
Is there another way to see this?
That simple question can change not only your emotions—but your outcomes.
Copyright 2026. All rights reserved. Reprinting is restricted unless receiving consent from Marsha Freedman: mfreedan@xprself.com