SELF-MANAGEMENT: HOW TO KEEP YOUR COOL WHEN “STUFF'“ HITS THE FAN
Happy New Year, and welcome to the first 2026 edition of Human Skills in the Age of AI.
In the previous two articles, we explored self-awareness, the first component of emotional intelligence (EI). We discussed how intentional reflection and actively seeking feedback can build confidence, strengthen communication, increase empathy, and heighten awareness of how our behavior impacts others. These human skills are becoming increasingly valuable as artificial intelligence continues to expand its capabilities and influence.
This article focuses on the second component of emotional intelligence: self-management—the ability to regulate emotions, particularly in high-stress situations or when interacting with difficult people.
WHY SELF-MANAGEMENT MATTERS MORE THAN EVER
The world feels increasingly chaotic—social tension, political uncertainty, and concerns about AI disrupting jobs can all heighten emotional reactivity. While there’s no magic solution to eliminate stress, understanding how the brain works can significantly improve our ability to respond rather than react.
THE EMOTIONAL BRAIN CAME FIRST!
The emotional part of the brain—the limbic system—is responsible for survival. Within it sits the amygdala, which triggers the fight-or-flight response. This system served us well when physical danger was a daily reality, redirecting blood flow to help us run or fight.
That wiring still exists today. However, when someone raises their voice, sends an aggressive email, or challenges us publicly, the amygdala can react as if we are facing a life-or-death threat—when, in reality, we are not. Social media exchanges and political rhetoric provide frequent examples of this overreaction.
When the amygdala is repeatedly activated by perceived (rather than actual) threats, it can become overactive, reducing impulse control and emotional regulation.
In short: we feel before we think.
THE LOGICAL BRAIN NEEDS PROTECTION
The prefrontal cortex (PFC)—our logical brain—governs decision-making, problem-solving, creativity, and impulse control. This is the part of the brain we rely on when leading meetings, interviewing, negotiating, or presenting.
Although the PFC represents only about 4% of the brain, it consumes a significant amount of energy. Stress, fatigue, and difficult decisions drain its resources quickly. Think of it like a gas tank: peak performance requires keeping it as full as possible.
There is, however, a brief window of opportunity to prevent strong negative emotions from hijacking the PFC.
A SIMPLE, EASY-TO-APPLY TOOL: The SET Principle®
SET = STOP. EMOTIONS DOWN. THINKING UP.
STOP:
At the first hint of a strong negative emotion—such as anger or frustration—mentally say “Stop.” Imagine standing in an empty street early in the morning. You notice a car approaching from a distance. Would you stay in the road or step back? This is the moment to step back.
EMOTIONS DOWN:
By consciously interrupting the emotional surge, you reduce the likelihood that it will dictate your behavior or derail your thinking.
THINKING UP:
With emotions regulated, you regain access to higher-level cognitive skills—allowing you to respond calmly, logically, and effectively.
With practice, The SET Principle® becomes automatic. Over time, it is stored in the brain’s basal ganglia—the area responsible for learned, routine behaviors—so it activates without conscious effort.
The SET Principle® can be applied at work, at home, in traffic, and even to improve sleep quality.
REFLECTION EXERCISE: Think of a past situation that may have had a better outcome if you had known and applied The SET Principle®.
FINAL THOUGHTS
While we cannot control the chaos around us, we can control how we respond to it. Strengthening self-awareness and self-management not only improves outcomes but also gives us a distinct advantage over AI—particularly in understanding others, fostering collaboration, and building meaningful relationships.
INTERESTED IN BRINGING THE SET PRINCIPLE® TO YOUR WORKPLACE?
The SET Principle® is available as a 90-minute program with a two-week follow-up. It is ideal for customer service, sales teams, and professionals working in high-stress environments to reduce stress, increase productivity and focus, and improve communication. It can also be licensed as part of public speaking, wellness, or emotional intelligence programs. An expanded curriculum with lesson plans is available for schools.
For more information, please contact:
Marsha Freedman, M.S.
📞 954-249-7745
📧 mfreedman@xprself.com
Copyright ©2026. The SET Principle, STOP. EMOTIONS DOWN. THINKING UP are all registered trademarks belonging to Express Yourself Communications, Inc. All rights reserved.